Last night Clara was in the bath, and suddenly she shouted, with the kind of desperation that only a seven-year-old can muster, "Oh no! Mommy! I need a pen and paper! Quick!" I wasn't too alarmed, since she frequently gets desperate urges to write down song lyrics for her future #1 hits, and she does some of her best thinking in the tub. I went in there and asked her what was up. Turns out that she had written a user name and password on her hand using a ballpoint pen, and the ink was washing off. Without the user name and password, she shrieked, fighting back tears, she wouldn't be able to play with "Jordan" all week! Jordan is a Webkinz. Hmmm, I actually don't know if it is Webkin or Webkinz in the singular. Anyway, Jordan is a stuffed animal- a black bear, to be exact, and Trevor took him along on a desert adventure trip to Phoenix this week (more on that another day). Without the password, etc, you can't access the website and play little games that let you purchase virtual stuff for a virtual world that you create. Clara, unable to stand the thought of going a week without buying cyberfiletmignon and cave accessories for the bear, copied its various codes onto her hand. Bathtime became problematic. That's where I came in. The biggest problem was that I was completely unsympathetic to her plight. She needed to "play" with a stuffed animal that was currently in Arizona? What ever happened to playing with actual stuffed animals that were in one's possession? When did this become so important to her? How has she managed to turn a few minutes of computer time here and there into some kind of obsession? And also, who the heck did she think was going to let her go on Webkinz.com this week? Because it certainly wouldn't be me, and I am the only one around until Friday. Turns out she had a plan. She was plotting to invite herself over to a friend's house...a friend who has her own computer in her own room (and also a cell phone and an ipod...) so she could buy cyberjunk with cybercash to her little heart's content.
Part of me feels like a fuddy duddy for being so anti when it comes to these dumb little things. If you look at them purely from a stuffed animal perspective, they are cute. Lots of species to choose from, cute little clothes, soft and fuzzy... But what is the point of making them cute and cuddly at all, if kids just sit and stare at the 2-D version of their animal online???? I mean, come on, people! Why do you have to be so cruel as to try to turn little kids into online consumers? I am hereby making the executive decision that there will be no more Webkinz in our house. The three that Clara owns will be stripped of their internet capability and turned into regular old stuffed animals. Will this make my daughter a social outcast? If it does, then she will just have to rely on her sparkling personality to win friends and influence people. Sorry, Clara. I'm doing this because I love you. Well, and also because they are dumb.
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